She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
