FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
