wat bout pragnant strippers??
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
