I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
