oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
