Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
