So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
