I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
