can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
