Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
