You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have fence marks all over my body
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
