just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
