I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
