Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
