one word: firstdatebathroomanal
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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