Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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