I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
