i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
