i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
