check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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