Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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