Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
