me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
