Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
