I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
