you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
