you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize