mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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