I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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