yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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