someone threw a dead crab at me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
