Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
