I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
