i would punch a child for taco bell
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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