dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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