I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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