thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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