Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize