I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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