You really coming over, don't trick.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
