yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
me + whiskey = a bad person
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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