Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
