I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
