so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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