It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
