let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
