I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she smelled like a LAN party
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
organizing the empties. That sober.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
