I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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