It's Friday. Sex?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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