i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
