Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
