i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
