there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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