I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
