Can Purell be used as lube?
Buhtt sex?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
