Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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