Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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